You are not alone: Surviving the ups and downs of the holidays.

Hi Friends,

I don’t know about you, but all of my apps are giving me a summary of my year, which is kind of fun? Kind of weird? Naturally, I wanted to create one for grief. Now, please do not compare yourself to the numbers in the post, I completely made them up, and I happen to be really bad at guessing quantities.

I began this newsletter at this time last year because I wanted to discuss grief over the holidays. It is such an isolating feeling that can be hard to process, given all of the cheer and “most wonderful time of the year” refrains. If you’d like to learn more about how to cope, take a look at last year’s newsletter.

My hope for you in this holiday season is that you know that you are not alone if things feel painful, sad, or difficult. I’m so glad you’re here, and if you ever need to talk, just let me know. Scroll below for some exciting news, your grief: wrapped, artwork, song, and a comic of the month!

Big news for Death With Dignity!

It has been a huge month for the Death With Dignity Movement!! This December, Illinois became the 12th state to legalize the Medical Aid in Dying Act. Pretty cool!

Not only that, but Gov. Kathy Hochul of NY also announced in December that she will sign the Medical Aid in Dying Act in January, becoming the 13th state!

With both New Jersey and New York legalizing this compassionate choice, the pressure is now on Pennsylvania, whose current official status is “considering” (shown on the map in red). If you feel so moved, take a look at how you can help here.

In the spirit of all apps everywhere, please enjoy this grief version of your Year In Review. GRIEF:WRAPPED

One thing I would like to leave you with is the 3 C’s of grieving over the holidays. It serves as a helpful framework for how to navigate this time.

Choose - Remember that amidst the chaos, you still have autonomy. Be mindful about what you go to, how long you stay, etc. You have choices.

Connect - Remember that we are all wired for connection. Even the most introverted amongst us needs to feel seen and heard. While you may want to hide away, remember that connecting with others is deeply healing. Perhaps do a one on one lunch rather than a big party.

Communicate - Remember that no one can read your mind. It’s important to identify and articulate what you may be needing or feeling, to help others help you. It’s okay to be honest and tell people you’re having a hard time.

Artwork

Christmas Eve at the Graveside by Otto Hesselbom, 1896

All jokes aside, navigating the holidays can be really painful. That’s why I chose this hauntingly beautiful painting by the Swedish artist Otto Hesselbom, finished in 1896. The raw emotion is so palpable, and a feeling that many of us can probably relate to. You are not alone.

Song

The ORIGINAL Merry Little Christmas

We have Judy Garland to thank for the version of Merry Little Christmas that we all know and love. The song was written for Garland’s movie Meet Me In St. Louis. When the composer and lyricist came to her with the original (and very melancholy) lyrics, she insisted they do a rewrite to make it a happier song.

The original lyrics:

Have yourself a merry little Christmas.
It may be your last.
Next year we may all be living in the past.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas.
Pop that champagne cork.
Next year we may all be living in New York.
No good times like the olden days.
Happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who were dear to us.
Will be near to us no more.
But at least we all will be together.
If the Lord allows.
From now on, we’ll have to muddle through somehow.
So have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

Comic

Carton by Mark? I can’t find any other info about it!

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